It’s been an interesting year on Twitter.  640 of my tweets have been retweeted, I thought I’d go through some of my favourites and yours. It’s a completely narcissistic exercise, but isn’t that what Twitter is about anyway? :)

Good Vibes

When I do go away from Twitter, a lot of people say they miss my positivity.  That is just who I am, a positive person, so naturally it comes out in my tweets. Here’s a taste of those good vibes from the last year. Enjoy!

I love that feeling when you talk to good friends, they put a smile on your face and you instantly feel better about life.

Live for a dream…follow a dream..beautiful dreamin..live for the dreams..follow that dream..beautiful dreaming…

This tweet is dedicated to life..and everybody in it.

#gratefulfor every breath, every lesson learnt, every dream realised, everyone who has had a positive impact on my life.

Being comfortable with who you are as a person, and finding someone who loves you for it. #thegoodlife #contentment

This tweet is dedicated to all the people who don’t even know how much of a positive impact they had on your life.

Look up at the sun this morning, smile and think of the happiest time in your life. You just had a happy moment.

I like living. Always something to learn. Something to make you stronger, to make you grow, to make you a better person.

I’m 30 years old. I’m at peace with who I am as a person. Content, comfortable. The negativity washes straight through me. I’m happy.

This tweet is dedicated to all the conscious people who think a little deeper about the world and those around them.

Go outside and look up at the stars tonight and tell me you aren’t lucky to be on this planet.

Never forget the people that believe in you, never take for granted those that see what’s inside of you and never stop pursuing what you are here to do.

Don’t give up, this tweet is for you, No matter how life gets today, hold on. If you need me, I’ll be there. Heart open, I always care.

Good music.Good vibes.Good will. Good life. Good times. Good feeling. Good timing. Good evening.

I have the best friends in the world who lift my spirits, make my soul shine and leave a smile on my face with their positive words #grateful

May this tweet reach your heart, may the words be your guide, every syllable, every line, I’ve arranged it for you and me. Journey on #smile

If you are worried, I will hold your head for you, and if you can’t sleep at night, I will screen your dreams for you.

Try.Try.Try.Try.Try.Try.Try.Try.Try & then Try Again #keepyaheadup #keeptrying #life

Feeling good? ✔ Looking forward? ✔ Loving Life? ✔✔

My thoughts on Life

I don’t spent 24 hours a day pondering my very existence and thinking very deeply about life but when I do have those thoughts I do put them on Twitter.  It’s been interesting to look back at some of these tweets about life over the last year.  Most would have a context about a situation in my life, or something I’m trying to understand. These are my personal thoughts on life.  Maybe others have already said the same thing, it might not be new, but it’s what I believe.  Someone once said to me, where do you get these from? They are just me, my thoughts, my views on life.

Sometimes the hardest thing in life is realising we need a little help along the way. Life is not a solitary journey.

I think it’s more important spending time with people that understand you than getting upset with those that don’t #shakeitoff

The greatest emotional weapon we possess is our own mind.

I think there is always something you can learn from every person you meet in this world.

Sometimes you gotta give the advice you’d give to others, to yourself, The onus is on you, for the decisions you make and where you find yourself in life.

There’s not too many special people you meet in a lifetime. Life moves so fast, you just have to cherish the moments you do spend with them.

If you’re searching for the truth, what is not said is so much more important than what is.

Forget who #idontassociatewith its about who #idoassociatewith – positive, caring, thoughtful people who want to do something beautiful in this world.

Imagine all the good things in your life right now on one scale, the bad things on the other. You determine the weight.

Whatever you are going through, I can guarantee someone else in the world is going through exactly the same thing.

The greatest mistake we make as human beings is giving more attention to those that hurt us, instead of those that help us and love us.

Whichever road you decide to take in life, its gonna start uphill.

In life you will take some hits no question. I’ll take them helping, not hurting, righting not wronging, believing not doubting.

People who only ever think of themselves can never fully understand others.

If you want to be a good person, surround yourself with good people.

Don’t pursue happiness, be happiness.

I’ve got a lot to learn in life just every one of us but my actions are only born out of the best of intentions with a warm caring heart.

I love when you get a really strong feeling about something and it turns out to be true. There’s more to life than what we physically see.

Beautiful experiences are born out of beautiful moments. Its a chain and its incredible to watch these be created & then see them blossom.

You can judge the quality of your friends by the advice they give you in difficult circumstances.

I’d rather assume the best than assume the worst.

Life is full of disappointment. Its in those moments that you find out how strong you are, how much self belief & faith you have in the choices you make.

If your heart is full of sorrow but you celebrate life..that is real strength.

If you come to the realisation that we are all human beings then all our differences are null and void. Treat people how you want to be treated.

There are some horrible people in this world, but there are also some some beautiful people, and they’re the ones that count.

Masterchef Tweets

Masterchef Tweets! Yes I lost count of the people who would come up to me in the real world and say “I love your Masterchef tweets.” In fact that is why most of you are following me.  I would be getting 50-60 new followers a night because people would retweet these.  I love to make people laugh so it was a lot of fun.  I would give myself about 30 seconds to write a joke based on what I was seeing on Masterchef.  If you only have 30 seconds a lot of them end up being pretty silly! I think the tweeting added a whole new dimension to watching the show.  I’m not even sure I enjoyed it but I enjoyed it on Twitter.  Here’s a selection of some of those tweets below:

Kylie Kwong suggests always cooking with your heart. Okay that would be good enough for about 1 dish…then you’re dead.

These grapes are not grapes, and this Heston is not Heston. *Rips off mask to reveal Matt Preston*

This candle is white chocolate, and my hair, is actually fennel seeds and orange peel #hestonthemagician

And on the ipod we play a mix of seagull, waves and norwegian death metal.

Aaron likes his women like he likes his strawberries..macerated.

On Jake: He won’t leave something unfinished? Does that mean he is going to chop his whole hand off?

Anybody can work it into a dough.. work it into a deer, a female deer then I’ll be impressed.

Jakes cookbook, 101 creative ways to slice yourself in the kitchen.

Jake we’ve always known you can cut it. You’ve already cut two fingers and a leg.

Sharnee is writing in a number of publications. Translation: she started her own blog that nobody reads.

If they served Margaret Fulton a steaming plate of dog shit she’d say, “I like a new experience, and I love the flies.” #toonice

What could strike terror into their very hearts? George giving a striptease in the pantry,

They need a good batter. Unfortunately Alvin misses the brief and gets Ricky Ponting.

The contestants have been given a chance to fly, unlike the squab.

George is pissed Courtney blew him off. He hasn’t been this disappointed since Gary gave him a timeout in the pantry.

Courtney’s picked up crabs before, but not in the kitchen.

Gary is having flashbacks to his visit to a Japanese whorehouse, “lift the lids on your mystery box now!”

Callum hasn’t assembled something this difficult since he finished that 100 piece puzzle with his mum.

Politics

Politicians are always a great target for a joke or two.  A change of leadership and two elections gave me plenty of opportunity.

Bill Shorten liked Rudd but he didn’t put a ring on it.

Stephen Conroy has delayed the net filter until after the election. I will now delay voting for Labor until after the election.

Tony Abbott’s inner child is a 6 year old Afghan refugee locked in a detention centre. He just needs to let him out and give him a visa.

I hear Real Julia comes with 33% less fat and only 2000 kilojoules of fear campaigning.

I hope to one day live in a country where a sausage sizzle is provided at every single polling booth. It’s every human’s basic right.

Three independents walk into a bar. I’ll let you know when they leave, they are still making an informed decision.

The three independents are still at the bar. Julia & Tony are fighting over who picks up the tab. 3 beers are now worth 1 billion dollars.

The power has clearly gone to Bob Katter’s hat. Control the hat, and you control the parliament.

Faceless party men + knife + 3 independents + 10 billion dollars = 1st Australian Female Prime Minister

Stephen Bradbury just called Julia Gillard to congratulate her on “her win.” Now he doesn’t feel so bad.

Getting up this morning was as difficult as finding a speech from Kevin Rudd that didn’t mention working families.

A Vuvazela is much like a politician. A repetitive montonous drone you have to hear once every four years. Only slightly less annoying.

Twitter

Twitter is a good insight into the different types of people in this world and how we choose to navigate it.

A tweet is a very powerful tool, it’s the pebble and the pond effect, let it ripple, triple & quadriple until people respond, retweet & reflect.

I can tweet about you, about me, about joy, about money, about fame, about this tweet, about love, about life, about dreams. I can tweet.

Think of a tweet as a blade of grass..that stands in a field of thousands..patterns can be seen but some catch the eye

Trending Topics

I love a trending topic, again it gives you a chance to make a joke. It’s a good challenge.

#FamousLastWords “I saw David Blaine do this on TV one time…”

#sheepsongs Funky Cold Merino

#sadchildrensbooks Nancy Drew & The case of the unplanned pregnancy

#sadchildrensbooks Where in the detention centre is Carmen San Diego?

#howyouathug when the toilet paper you use is 4 ply?

The Seven Year Itch in My Pants #moviesinmypants

Slangin’ with Mr Cooper #disturbingsictoms

#boringmovies The Thinly Veiled Christian Allegory, the Witch & The Wardrobe

If you think violence will ever solve anything then.. #slapyourself See..didn’t work… did it?

& other stuff…

Lindsay Lohan may be crying over her jail sentence, but I cried more watching Herbie: Fully Loaded. #sentencedtomediocrity

Brendan Fevola exposed himself? As a spoilt selfish immature reckless alcoholic womanising gambler? Oh he “exposed” himself. My bad.

Michael Bay is filming his new movie at the Commonwealth Games. He’s saving money on crumbling buildings, collapsing structures and huge explosions.

The Commonwealth Games always relies on volunteers but getting 5 year old kids to build the stadiums and bridges may have been going too far.

Charlie Sheen has hired a “sober coach”. I hear he also has an opening for a “prostitute cock blocker.”

When someone builds a new plane I want them to say “we’ve built the safest aeroplane ever” not “it has more legroom.”

The guy below me in your timeline is tweeting from the toilet. #justsayin

The headache I have now is about as enjoyable as listening to Fran Drescher recite the full works of William Shakespear.

It’s hard to look gangsta when you are carrying a 16 pack pack of toilet rolls under your arm.

If I watch the ARIA’s backwards, will it make more sense?

AAMI a better reward for not making any claims would be to never see your advertisements on my TV screen ever again.

Thanks to everyone who followed me this year on Twitter. I’ve enjoyed the discussions, the laughs, the madness, see you in 2011! This blog allows me to write in more than 140 characters so if you have a question about a tweet, you want to know the story behind it or you have some favourites of mine then let me know!